When we were law students or young lawyers we all heard at least one lecture about the virtues of professionalism. They all focused on some variation of the Golden Rule of doing unto others as we would have others do unto us. Some of us even signed pledges to the effect that we would always incorporate those lessons on professionalism in our practice. I suspect most of us feel like we took those lessons to heart but nonetheless, we have all too often encountered other lawyers who have long ago forgotten the professionalism lessons of their legal youth. However, as mature practitioners, we should know better how to respond to bad behavior by our opponents even though it often seems that is not the case. While we all believe that we behave professionally by not initiating inappropriate conflict, it is how we respond to difficult lawyers that is probably the truest test of our own professionalism.
It is easy to behave civilly when met with civil behavior. It is a much greater challenge when we feel that we have been treated unfairly by opposing counsel. However, we should meet that challenge by acting civilly anyway. I believe that we should "turn the other cheek" when we encounter someone who does not deserve it not because we owe it to the obnoxious person who is causing the problem, but because we owe it to the profession as a whole.
Whether intentional or not, people tend to view reactions to bad behavior as disproportionate. When someone hits you, hitting them back even harder rarely has the deterrent effect that one would hope. More likely, another return blow will follow. Such conflicts in the legal profession are rarely physical, but all too often verbal exchanges can get out of hand. These exchanges have become even more common in email, which allows the author to hide behind his or her keyboard and which are frequently read by the recipient as conveying a hostile tone. These kind of exchanges don’t just affect the lawyers involved, but the profession as a whole as uncivilized behavior becomes increasingly accepted as normal.
Perhaps the best way to combat unacceptable behavior and prevent it from becoming acceptable is to strive to respond to ugliness with grace. By doing so, we can all help to lower the overall hostility level of our profession. The next time a lawyer speaks harshly to you, try to respond only to the substance of the issue and ignore the tone, outrageous comments or personal criticism. If it makes you feel better, write that nasty reply email but don’t send it. You may not get the full catharsis of showing the initiating lawyer how clever you are or giving them a piece of your mind, but if enough lawyers will simply ignore the venom of their opponents, eventually nice will become normal again.